17 Signs of an Insecure Man and How to Date Him

An insecure Man is an individual who struggles with deep-seated feelings of insecurity within the context of a romantic relationship.

Insecurity often stems from various sources, such as past experiences, personal insecurities, or a lack of self-esteem.

An insecure boyfriend may exhibit behaviors such as excessive jealousy, possessiveness, constant need for reassurance, and a tendency to question their partner’s loyalty or commitment.

These behaviors can create challenges and strain the relationship, as the insecurities may manifest as controlling or manipulative tendencies.

Understanding the dynamics of an insecure boyfriend is essential in navigating the complexities of the relationship with empathy, open communication, and support, promoting personal growth and a healthier connection for both partners involved.

MUST READ: How to Deal With Insecurity

Why are Men Insecure?

Insecurity is a complex emotion that can affect individuals regardless of gender.

While it is true that men can experience insecurity, it is important to recognize that the causes and triggers can vary widely among individuals.

Societal expectations and gender roles can play a role, as men may feel pressured to conform to certain ideals of strength, success, and masculinity. Personal experiences, past traumas, and self-esteem issues can also contribute to insecurity.

Furthermore, comparing oneself to others, fear of rejection or failure, and a lack of self-confidence can intensify feelings of insecurity.

It is crucial to approach this topic with empathy and understanding, recognizing that insecurity is a deeply personal struggle that requires support and self-reflection to overcome.

Signs of an Insecure Man

Signs of an insecure man can manifest in various ways, offering insights into his emotional state and behaviors.

One common sign is constant seeking of reassurance and validation, needing validation from others to feel worthy or confident. Insecurity may also lead to possessiveness and jealousy, as he may fear losing his partner or being replaced.

An insecure man may exhibit controlling behavior, such as monitoring your activities or trying to isolate you from friends and family. He may also struggle with expressing trust, often questioning your actions or motives.

Insecurities can manifest as a lack of self-confidence, putting himself down, or being overly sensitive to criticism.

Recognizing these signs can help foster open communication and support for personal growth, but it’s important to remember that addressing insecurities should be approached with care and understanding.

1. He’s always threatening to break up with you

An insecure man will always threaten to leave or stop the relationship whenever there is a conflict between the two of you.

People would normally discuss the issue and figure out how to resolve it through conversation. Instead, he chooses to take things to an extreme level.

This is happening as a result of his insecurity and his attempt to manipulate you. Because of his fragile ego, he expects you to fall down on your knees and beg him to stay, and this is all because of how he feels about himself.

2. He tells you he loves you after the first date

Yes, you should get out of there if you hear this. It is not even worth your time to exchange phone numbers.

If you choose to ignore him, he won’t ever leave you alone. It is a major red flag that he is exceedingly insecure if he declares his love for you soon away; these are some of the other big warning indicators.

Put down your fork and excuse yourself from the table if you haven’t even finished the appetizers.

3. He’s all over your social media

An insecure man is aware of anything you post online. Each and every one of the details. He makes it a point to comment on each of them, and he ensures that everyone can see his remarks.

If you publish something that he finds offensive, you don’t need to worry since he will let you know as soon as possible.

It’s disturbing and one of the greater symptoms of insecurity in a man when someone chases you on social media, regardless of who it is or why they’re doing it.

4. He doesn’t take criticism very well

It is not worth your time to say anything that could perhaps damage his already fragile ego. This individual has a very low tolerance for constructive criticism.

Even if it may be a trivial matter to you, he perceives it as an assault on his own essence.

And yet, he won’t think twice about being critical of you and telling you what you should adjust in your behavior. You won’t be able to make him appear less imposing than you.

5. He always thinks you’re into your ex

It’s possible that you’ve never even been in a relationship before, but in his eyes, you’ve already been through many.

Even if you may have broken up with that person years ago, in the eyes of an insecure man, it seems as though you have not moved on from your previous relationship.

This, of course, makes you want to show him even more that he’s the one, but that’s what he wants you to do since that’s what he wants. You need to make it clear to him that your love is reserved exclusively for him in order for him to believe it.

6. He likes to be the alpha male

He must develop into a man. You should be aware right away that men who feel the need to play the role of the alpha male are insecure with who they are as individuals, which is why they compensate by acting in an overly macho manner.

They believe that by being more manly, they can hide their feelings of insecurity. However, it does not achieve the desired results. He must demonstrate that he is a man.

You are completely irrelevant in this discussion; the focus should be on him.

7. He needs validation at all times

When he first asked you, “Do you love me?” you thought it was a charming and endearing gesture on his part to do so, and you answered yes. But at this point, it’s starting to get on my nerves.

It’s almost as if he’s just waiting for you to tell him so that he can receive some sort of confirmation from hearing it from you. It’s almost as if he’s just waiting for you to tell him.

However, informing him of this is not sufficient, even if you do convey this information to him.

Now, let’s not lose sight of the fact that it is essential for each one of us to feel validated.

Nevertheless, there is a limit, and if he goes beyond it to the point where it is on the verge of being uncomfortable, this is undeniably one of the signs that your lover is insecure.

8. He’s overly protective

There’s being protective, and then there’s being possessive of something. This is one of the most significant red flags that a man is struggling with insecurity.

This guy has to take a chill pill because he’s obviously an insecure man if he won’t let you walk to the grocery store alone because he’s scared you might get hurt.

9. He wants to change the way you look to fit him

He doesn’t like the way you look. It’s true, he does, but he doesn’t want other people to admire the way you present yourself.

The fact that he will tell you that he doesn’t like the way you dress and that he will order you to change your hair are both forms of control that he exercises over you.

He wants to mold you into the appearance that, in his opinion, best suits you.

10. He needs constant attention

This individual need more attention than a child of two years of age. When the two of you are together, he constantly requires that you touch him or gaze at him.

He needs you to keep in constant communication with him about what you’re doing and where you are whenever the two of you are apart.

But in all honesty, this has little to do with attention; rather, it’s all about control.

11. He’s jealous of your friends

An insecure man can’t tolerate it when you pay attention to other people, especially if it’s someone who isn’t him.

He is interested in accompanying you wherever you go while you are with your friends; but, he would prefer it if you did not have any friends of your own.

And if you have any male pals, don’t even get us started on that topic because he would lose his head.

12. He monitors what you do and where you are

An insecure man is obsessed with tracking your every move and being aware of where you are as well as the people you are with at all times.

He has to know what you have planned, because if he doesn’t, he will think that you are hanging out with another guy… Having an affair with him.

This guy has to have complete command over every waking second. If he had the opportunity, he would stay up and watch you sleep.

13. It’s all about the guilt

This is how he intends to get you to carry out his requests.

If you don’t see him today, he’s going to contact you and complain that you never see him and that you’re putting the relationship in jeopardy by not paying attention to it.

If he is attempting to manipulate you into feeling guilty about something, it is because he wants to exert authority over you and your relationship. He is self-absorbed and just cares about maintaining his hold on you.

He is exhibiting one of the most common characteristics of insecurity in men.

14. It feels like his suffocating you

You can tell when someone is pushing your buttons. It’s just that you’re afraid of what might happen if you do, and you don’t want to lose them.

Do you see how that would work? If they weren’t, you wouldn’t have this suffocating sensation inside of you, but you know they are.

If you are experiencing the sensation of being strangled, it is because you actually are being choked. It is a major warning sign that he does not let you be your own person, and the fact that he does this is unacceptable.

It is without a doubt one of the most obvious indications that a man is insecure.

YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: Warning Signs of a Possessive Man

15. You’re his entire world

When a man is completely enamored with you and can’t imagine his life without you, that, of course, is an incredible feeling.

But then there comes this moment when you realize that you are literally the only thing that he sees, and you are the only thing that he sees.

You are essentially his personal property, and he views the world through your eyes.

The fact that he is possessive and considers himself to be your owner is something that initially appealed to you. But at this point, it’s just too much.

16. He’s jealous of other men

When another man glances at you or makes a pass at you, he gets very jealous and angry.

He takes an aggressive stance, expresses a desire to fight the other individual, or places the responsibility on you for what took place.

The fact that other people find you attractive is simply too much for the guy to take emotionally.

17. He has a horrible dating past

Every one of his previous relationships ended with either one party cheating on him or the other party abandoning him.

None of his previous relationships showed any interest in him, and they all behaved horribly toward him. At least, that’s what he’s going to have you believe.

In point of fact, he was very demanding, needed constant attention, and demanded to be coddled.

Dating an Insecure Man

Dating an insecure man can be a challenging experience. His constant need for reassurance and validation can lead to strained dynamics in the relationship.

Insecurities may manifest as jealousy, possessiveness, and an excessive need for control, creating a sense of emotional instability. Communication becomes crucial to address these insecurities and build a foundation of trust and understanding.

It is important for both partners to support each other’s growth and self-esteem while setting healthy boundaries.

However, if the insecurities persist and negatively impact the relationship, it may be necessary to reevaluate compatibility and seek a healthier, more balanced partnership.

Remember, a strong relationship thrives on trust, respect, and individual confidence.

1. Tell him how much he means to you

Even though he should already be aware of it, telling him something repeatedly won’t injure him in any way.

It will do him good to know that you want to tell him how much you love him and how much you care about him. He will have the impression that he does not need to be concerned about you abandoning him for another person.

When dating an insecure man, it is not enough to simply get him to talk; you must also engage in conversation.

2. Reassure him often

Sometimes all you need to do is reassure him that there is nothing for him to be anxious about. Confirm to him verbally that you are just there for him and that you do not want anybody else.

It’s possible that doing this on a consistent basis will become tiresome, but in the end it will be well worth it.

Be careful not to overdo it, though, or he might start to assume that you’re just saying things to throw him off. When dating a man who struggles with insecurity, you need to be one step ahead of the game.

3. Keep the communication going strong

This is really the most crucial aspect of a relationship, and the obligation will typically fall on the women to maintain this up because it is so important.

Because men aren’t very adept at communicating about their feelings, dating an insecure man might be a challenging experience because of this.

You will be able to sort things out as long as you keep encouraging your boyfriend to talk about the things that are hurting him and as long as he listens to what he has to say.

Ask him questions. Share with him how you are now feeling. Simply try to engage him in conversation about how he is feeling.

4. Let him meet all your friends, even the guys

If anything, he ought to start getting to know the other guys that you hang out with straight soon. If you do not prevent this, it will be quite simple for him to get an unfavorable opinion of them before he has even met them.

Because you spend so much time with other men, he will grow extremely insecure, and this will become a very difficult problem for the two of you to work through together.

5. Keep in contact with him without being asked

Simply check in at various points throughout the day. In all honesty, it’s not that big of a deal at all. Tell him as you make your way back to your house from the coffee shop.

When you’ve finished your task for the day, send a brief text my way.

You don’t have to give him a play-by-play account of your entire day, but you should at least let him know what you’re doing so that he doesn’t have to feel concerned and worried about you.

6. Openly discuss his past with him

Talking about a guy’s background with him is a good idea because their history can reveal a lot about the insecurities they struggle with. It’s possible that he won’t want to talk about it right away.

Make it clear to him that you are willing to discuss anything he brings up in conversation, and he will feel more at ease approaching you with his concerns.

7. Don’t lie to him about anything whatsoever

If you tell a falsehood and he discovers the truth, he will no longer be able to trust what you say. And the fact that he cannot trust anyone will make his insecurities MUCH more severe.

Don’t deceive him in any way, shape, or form if you can help it.

When you have the opportunity, tell him the truth, and make sure it’s as soon as you can. This will help you create trust between the two of you, which in turn will help him feel more secure.

8. Don’t point out his insecurities

Never bring up his fears in front of his buddies, and under no circumstances should you do so.

It will make him feel more worse if you point them out to him, and especially if you make light of them in any way. He is aware of what they are.

In addition to this, he truly does not want his close pals to be aware of his insecurities. When their buddies are aware of their vulnerabilities, it can make guys feel incredibly degraded and weak.

If you are aware of them, there is no need to share this information with anybody else.

When you date an insecure man, you must be aware of his insecurities but refrain from bringing them up in front of him.

9. Tell him about your insecurities

He will feel significantly better once he realizes that he is not the only one who struggles with these insecurities. Therefore, let’s hear about yours! Let him know that you, too, have problems and that you aren’t always content with how certain things are going in your life.

It will be lot simpler to deal with if he believes that he can be vulnerable with you about something that you and he are both struggling with. When dating an insecure partner, it is important for both parties to have an open and honest relationship.

10. Ask him what he needs from you

Be straightforward with him and simply ask what it is that he requires from you. In what ways does he need to be communicated with throughout the day?

What kind of things can you do to cheer him up and help him feel better?

Your relationship will improve if you are aware of exactly what will aid his insecurity, and this is the most important thing to keep in mind when you are dating an insecure man.

11. Prove he has nothing to worry about over and over again

This is a simple task. Simply remain loyal to him and always be there for him. Always show him that his biggest concerns were unfounded. This is all that is necessary for his fears to become less obvious as time goes on.

There is no doubt that he will still have them. On the other hand, the more robust and healthy your connection is, the less insecure he will feel.


In conclusion, being in a relationship with an insecure man can present significant challenges.

His constant need for validation, possessiveness, and jealousy can strain the bond between partners and create an environment of emotional instability.

It is essential for both individuals to communicate openly and honestly, addressing the underlying insecurities and working together to build trust and confidence.

Ultimately, if the boyfriend is unwilling to acknowledge and work on his insecurities, it may be necessary for the well-being of both parties to reevaluate the relationship and seek healthier alternatives.

Remember, a strong and secure relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and a willingness to grow together.

Click the button below to Gain Access to our Members’ Exclusive Group, before it fills up again.
Gain Access Now!


Leave A Reply

Your email address will not be published.